Holding on to Hope
by inverted compass
Summary: Just a working title, I hope the story is better than that title. Jess is a noblewoman with dreams of becoming a knight. The only problem is that her father is a strict conservative. This has been done before but please read on. [Halted incomplete]
1. Introduction

Eastvale is located north-west of Tiragen.

This story is set during _Page_.

**Introduction**

Jessica of Eastvale was not happy. She had just exchanged another set of angry words with her father, Lord Eamon of fief Eastvale. It wasn't that she hated her father, she loved him as she loved all her family, but she couldn't stand his conservative views. "The place of a women is at home with the children," he would rage whenever she brought up the subject.

The thirteen year old Jessica, or Jess as she liked to be called, wasn't like the daughters of most noblemen. She wanted to be a knight. She idolized the Lioness, and had always dreamed of becoming juts like her. She had rejoiced when she first heard of the proclamation, over ten years earlier, that allowed girls to try for their shields.

Her problem, however, was that her entire family was as conservative as her father. Her mother agreed with him on everything, and her 20 year old brother, Sir Kenen of Eastvale, was even worse. He thought that since he was a knight, he was superior to all those who weren't. Her older sister, 17 year old Patricia, looked down on her sister's dreams. She though that it was unladylike for women to fight. Her sister Chelsea was too young to understand, being only 6.

Jess' only respite was her younger brother. She got along well with 9 year old, and soon-to-be-page, Jarret. He didn't see why girls shouldn't become knights. Over the years, he had become Jess' closest friend and confidante.

Jess knew she could fight. When she was 8 years old, a Shang master came to Eastvale. She had gone to him in secret and had learned exercises for strength and for combat, both armed and unarmed. She practiced these as often as she could. She also observed the castle guards and men-at-arms practicing each morning. She had stolen a sword from the armoury and later emulated the manoeuvres she saw preformed.

She had no idea how she was at swordplay or combat, as she had never practiced against a real opponent before. But after the latest argument with her father, she had decided to take matters in her own hands. She may have given up on being a knight, but she still enjoyed the sword exercises. She wanted to continue with that for the rest of her life.


	2. Dreams Crushed

**A/N** I'm sorry ofr the short chapters. This is shorter than most, but none will be very long. My plan is to update more frequently with shorter sections. If you really can't stand the chopiness, just wait for me to load a few chapters and read them all at once.

Disclaimer: You've all heard this enough times, but whatever. Anything that you recognize is not mine. This applies for all previous and future chapters as well.

**Dreams Crushed**

As she stalked through the halls of her castle home, she replayed the incident with her father in her mind. She had aproched him and asked, not for the first time, if she could travel to Corus and study to become a knight.

Her father had begun to laugh heartily, before noticing she was serious. "I've told you before," he bellowed, "It's unnatural for women to become knights. No daughter of mine will disgrace themselves and their family in such a way."

Jess was shocked at the outburst, but that soon turned to anger. "You really do hate me," she raged. "If you actually cared about me, you'd let me follow my dream." With that said she turned and marched angrily out of the room.

After her rather hasty retreat, she decided to go for a ride to clear her head. At the stables she mounted her mare Snowbreeze. She was a beautiful horse, a deep chestnut brown with white speckles down her sides. As she galloped through the surrounding forest, she began to formulate a plan. "No," she muttered, "it's not a plan; really it's just a course of action. A plan always has a desired ending and I have no idea where this is heading"


	3. The Plan

**A/N **After reading some reviews, I rethought my chapter idea. Since I wrote most of the story as a block, and inserted chapters arbitrarily, I went back and reworked them. Some will still be short, but not quite as short.

Thanks everyone who reviewed.

**The Plan**

The next morning, she kept her customary vigil of the morning guard practice. But this time she wasn't watching the exercises, she was watching the men and boys doing them. Many village boys attended these sessions, since swordplay was a useful skill to have, especially since most of them dreamed of becoming soldiers.

As the group disbanded at the end of the hour, Jess selected a boy who looked about her own age. Dressed in breeches and an inconspicuous tunic, like the ones worn by household servants, she grabbed her sword and followed him through the village. She saw him go into a modest sized hut. After skulking around outside to make sure he was alone in the house, she knocked on his front door.

When he answered he was confused as to why a girl would come calling. His reaction turned to shock, then back to confusion, then to disbelief, before settling on confusion again as she quickly spat out her story. He agreed to let her come in and explain further. When the two were alone in the house, she told him what she wanted to do.

His response was quick. "There's no way I'm going to fence with a girl," he said. Jess however, was determined. She decided to goad him into a competition, one she was sure of losing, but wanted to have no the less.

"Scared of losing to a girl," she taunted. The young noblewoman continued with her insults until he could stand it no longer.

"Fine," he cried, "let's get this over with." Cried Eric, for that was his name. He fully expected to disarm her quickly, and to have her run back to her home crying. The boy was surprised, however as she put up a strong fight.

Starting off tentatively, she parried all his blows. As the battle progressed, she began launching some attacks of her own. After a long fight, which lasted over 15 minutes, he finally managed to slip is sword inside her guard. Having reached through her defences, he gave her a light tap with the flat of his sword on the side of her throat.

After this long and well fought exchange, they were both bent over gasping for breath. This was the beginning of a great friendship. Jess tried to slip away from the castle at least three times a week to practice with Eric.

As the weeks progressed, Jess improved to the point where she easily beat Eric in the vast majority of their matches. Eric was extremely proud of Jess, as he felt responsible for much of her improvement. One day, about four weeks after they had begun their practice sessions, he decided that Jess needed more competition than he could offer.

When Jess snuck out of the castle on that day, getting Jarrett to cover for her absence, she was surprised that there was another boy with Eric when they met. Eric introduced him as Simeon, and announced that they were to fence each other. Eric knew that Simeon, being three years older, was a much better swordsman than he was, and estimated that he would be well matched with Jess.

As soon as the words were out of Eric's mouth, a look of shock came to the faces of both would-be combatants. Jess quickly decided to go with her friend's instincts, trusting that he was trying to do something good for her.

Simeon however had no such reservations about speaking his mind. "A girl?" he loudly intoned, "I'm not fighting a girl." Before Jess could even speak a word, and she had plenty to say, Eric was leaping to her defence.

"Yeah," he reasoned, "she's a girl, but don't talk down to her until you've seen her fence."

Even though Simeon appeared to be wavering, Jess decided to tilt the balance in her favour. "What, are you scared to fight a girl?" she jeered.

"Never," was the quick reply. "Let's go, right now." With that said, Jess and Simeon started stretching and warming up. With their limbering exercises complete, they drew there swords and came to the guard position.

As soon as Eric yelled, "GO!" Jess decided to test her opponent. Lightning-fast, she lunged straight at him, sword pointing at his heart. Caught off guard, Simeon stumbled, but recovered enough to block her thrust and slash back at her unprotected side. Ready for his counter, Jess stepped back and deflected the blow away.

This feverish pace continued for some time. As the match wore on, both fighters began to make mistakes due to fatigue. When Simeon leaned slightly off-balance on a stab, Jess quickly capitalized. With a quick flick and twist of her blade, she sent his sword flying out of his hand, and skittering across the floor.

Simeon stepped back, stunned. But he soon recovered his composure and congratulated Jess. "I guess that's what I get for underestimating you. You're really good."

At this point Eric piped up, "See, I knew you guys were evenly matched. I may not be the best fencer in the world, but I can evaluate talent when I see it. I don't know if I've ever seen such an evenly matched duel go on for that long."


	4. Subterfuge

**A/N** This did'nt get updated as soon as the earlier chapters, because i was away. Just a warning: I have written one chapter beyond this. After that, everything will be updated much slower. Sorry and Enjoy!**  
**

**Subterfuge**

When Eric mentioned the time, it jarred Jess back to reality. "Oh! I didn't realize what time it is," she said staring at the large oak clock above the fireplace, "I'm going to be in so much trouble. See you guys tomorrow maybe," she said as she sprinted out the door.

Taking a shortcut through the stables, and running up the servant's staircase Jess arrived back in her room in no time. She quickly switched her breeches and tunic in favour of a light summer dress. This quick change accomplished, she walked out the door and down the hall, searching for her younger brother.

As she approached his chambers, a servant came up behind her. "M'lady, the Lord wishes to speak with you. He is waiting in the great hall."

"Yes, thanks Kyle," she said to her father's attendant, and turned to head down to meet her father. She was not looking forward to what was bound to be an angry encounter, one that would rapidly degrade into a fiery argument.

As she entered the hall, she saw that not only was her father there, but her whole family. Her mother had a blank expression on her face. Her father and older sister were both trying there hardest to ignore her, while her older brother stared her down.

Jess ignored Kenen's gave, looking past him to Jarret. He had a supportive and apologetic look on his face. She walked the length of the great hall and came to a stop in front of her father. "Were have you been?" he asked, his voice eerily calm.

"I was out riding," was her reply, even though she sensed that he knew something of where she had been. "It is lovely outside weather outside," she continued.

"Out riding on your own, without telling anyone?" The irritation was starting to show through his voice. "Did you consider that we could have been worried?" Jess was thinking about saying no, just to see his reaction, but the Lord of Eastvale kept on going. "Answer!" he commanded.

"Jarret knew where I was," she said as she tried to defend herself from this verbal onslaught.

"It's true," her younger brother piped up. "I knew where- "

Abruptly cutting off his youngest son, the Lord of Eastvale roared, "What if there had been bandits, what would you have done to without an escort!"

Letting her temper impede her common sense, Jess replied, "I can defend myself well enough." As soon as this left her mouth, she regretted it. She even hoped her father would mock her and let it slide.

"No true lady, no daughter of mine, can fight," was the reply. Getting her emotions under Jess held her tongue as she left the room. "Next time, get someone to accompany you," her father yelled after her.

As she entered the passage towards her room, Jess was strangely exuberant. She had feared the worst, but was relieved that her father did not know her secret. As she entered her room, she went back to thinking through the next step in her plan.

Springfest was held every May. It was a fair that celebrated the end of winter, and the beginning of the planting season. The streets of Eastvale would be packed with vendors and fairgoers. There would be music and entertainment, and at the center of it all, a competitions for youths and adults alike. There would be archery, wrestling, horseracing, and fencing.

Jess planned to dress up as a boy, and enter the tournament. She enjoyed fencing with Eric and Simeon, but wanted to test herself against more opponents. She had reached the point where she always beat Eric, and won about three out of four against his older friend.

It was three days before Jess could leave the fief again. She convinced her mother to let her and Jarrett go riding, as long as thye did not stray far from the village. As soon as they were out of sight of the castle, they doubled back and cut into the village. Jess led her brother to Eric's house, where she met with her two friends.

After a quick introduction, they welcomed Jarrett into their group. They started by discussing Jess' scheme. Simeon thought Jess was good enough, since he thought that he was one of the better fencers in the village.

After a quick warm-up, Jarrett was surprised to see her sister beat first Eric, and then Simeon. He soon came to the conclusion that yes, she could hold her own in the tournament.

The weeks until the tournament could not pass quickly enough for Jess. She worked hard with Eric and Simeon, preparing herself for the competition at Springfest. Jarrett often came along and participated in these training sessions.

The day of the tournament had finally arrived. Jess was anxiously thinking of a plan on how to escape her family and join in the contests. Finally she had it. The idea that would enable her to leave the stifling confines of the palace.

Lord Eamon, while allowing the spring fair to happen, did not fully approve of the event. He did not participate in it, as a spectator or judge. But the noise of the crowds and the music could be heard from the castle. Feigning exasperation, Jess exclaimed, with her whole family within earshot, the she could not stand it any longer. "Jarrett, would you like to go for a ride down by the creek with me?' she asked, "I need to get away from this noise."

Knowing his part to play in the charade, Jarrett replied, "Sure, I need to get some fresh air." Their father nodded his consent, and they walked out to the stabled, grabbed their mounts, and trotted down, through the woods, to meet Eric in the village.


	5. The Rest

**A/N **After much thought, I have come to the decision to stop writing this story. This is everything else that I have written. At some point in the future I may continue this, but don't get your hopes up. I would like to thank those who reviewed, and apologize about leaving this uncompleted.

**Tournament**

Once at Eric's, Jess changed into her disguise. Her light brown hair was already cut short, so she did not have to worry about that. She put on breeches and a baggy tunic, to hide her body. This hurried change would not stand up to someone who knew her, put she hoped it would confuse everybody else.

With that done, she walked with Eric and Jarrett to the judges table to register for the fencing competition. With both their names on the list, they waited for the start of matches to begin.

The format for the tournament was simple. All the contestants' names would be put in a hat. Then, names were drawn to from matches of twos. All the winners from the first round would be put back in the hat, and names would be drawn for second round matches. This process would continue until there were only two competitors remaining.

When the names were drawn and posted, Eric, Jess, and Simeon immediately starting discussing the strengths and weaknesses of their opponents. Simeon was happy with his draw, and from what Jess had heard, so was she. Eric however, was nearly devastated. He had drawn the favourite to win the tournament.

Jess's match was against a bulky sixteen year-old. Although he had two years and over 50 pounds on her, he was slow and clumsy. When the match started she struck quickly and often, keeping him on the defensive. She did not want to give him a chance to use his size advantage. As she pressed her attack, she forced him backwards. When he stumbled, she capitalized and slip her blade inside his, resting the point against he heart.

"I give," he grunted. She drew her blade away from his body. She had not really exerted herself in the fight, and was glad to have an easy win to help build her confidence.

After the first round, Jess met up with Eric and Simeon, Jarret having wandered off to visit a friend in the village. Eric had lost to his opponent, but he said he had put up a good fight. Simeon had defeated his opponent, though not with the ease Jess had.

They walked to the central board, where the draws for the next round would be posted. Jess was once again lucky to get a fairly easy draw. The second round (out of 5 rounds, there were 32 entrants) was considered to be crucial. If you could make the top 8, that was a feat to be proud of.

Jess' opponent in this round was a boy not much larger than her. He was quick, however, so Jess knew she had to be careful not to try and fight him as she had the last boy. Luckily, she soon discovered his weakness. He had an injured right ankle, making it harder to attack in that direction.

She worked this weakness throughout the match. As they both began to tire, she pulled the masterstroke of her plan. Feinting anther stab at his right side, she quickly reversed and swung her sword in a loop towards his abdomen. His frantic parry of her attack left him hopelessly of balance, and wide open for her to step past his defences and rest her weapon against his throat.

Due to this, she had made another opponent utter the words "I give." Simeon had also been the victor in his match. They had both made it to the round of 8. As they gathered by the main boards to see the next round posted, Jess gazed over her competition. Most of the remaining competitors were fairly big, either tall or heavy. She assumed that they must be fairly quick as well, or they would have been defeated by smaller fighters in the earlier rounds. Jess was confident, however, because she knew she could fight boys bigger and stronger than her.

When the third round matches were posted, Jess looked at her opponent. He was short, barely an inch taller than her, but he was well built. She thought that he must be quite strong. This meant she would have to avoid going body to body with him. She decided that to fight him she would let him come to her, and then counterattack.

When the fight started, she decided to test her theory. They circled each other warily, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Jess was more patient, however, and was ready when he struck. She parried his slash and lunged back towards him he leaped back, deflecting her blow away. They then returned to staring each other down.

This pattern repeated itself a few time, he would strike first, and then she would parry and return the attack. Jess did not really enjoy fighting this defensively, but it seemed to be working. She believed that she had gotten the better of the match so far.

Eventually her perseverance to the plan paid off. He lunged at her a bit too hard. When she stepped out of the way, he ended up of balance. She spun in to his side, and as he swung his sword back towards her, she used the leverage she had gained to knock the blade from his grasp. This brought the conclusion of the third fight, a satisfactory conclusion for Jess.

As she walked back to the main meeting area, she learned that Simeon had won his fight, defeating an opponent that could have been his mirror image. They had both advanced to the final four.

Jess was fairly confident, since she knew that she could usually defeat Simeon. In the 4th round, Simeon drew Velven, the boy favoured to win the tournament, the same one that had beaten Eric in the first round. Jess drew a boy named Quinton, who many considered to be a fluke at this point, just like Jess. The observers were speculating that whoever won the Simeon-Velven match would become the champion.

Jess was determined to prove them wrong. Quinton was unfortunate enough to be in her path to the finals. Throwing her defensive strategy out the window, she attacked with a vengeance. Quinton was just barely able to parry her lighting-quick attacks.

She was so caught up in her attacks, she almost missed deflecting one of her opponent's counters. This did not deter her however, and she continued the rapid pace. Luckily for Jess, Quinton was not in as fit as she was. He began to tire first, and his blocks became less and less forceful, with almost no attacks of his own.

Eventually, the inevitable happened. His arms feeling like lead from the pounding that they had taken, his guard simple dropped. Shocked by this, Jess jumped back, expecting a trick. When nothing happened, she simply whacked his sword hard with her own, and watched it drop to the ground.

She walked over to the next court to see the end of the match between her friend and Velven. When she had pushed her way to the front of the crowd, she saw Velven smoothly swinging his blade in a series of arcs, with Simeon just barely able to keep up. When he abruptly stopped, and jammed his blade straight for his body, Simeon was barely able to deflect it away. Unperturbed by his defence, Velven changed the course of the weapon, and stopped right against Simeon's ear.

"I give." Simeon muttered. But always sportsmanlike, he added, "Good fight."

Not sharing in his respect for opponents, Velven replied with an insult. "Maybe for me, but I didn't think you had a good fight at all."

Simeon was visibly stunned by the rebuke, and stalked off the court. He was met by Jess, who quickly told him of her own triumph. Jess was full of anger for the arrogant Velven, and seeing this, Simeon decided to give as much advice as he could.

"I know you're angry, but don't attack him recklessly. He's too good. Just fight your fight and try and where him down. Despite what he said, I took longer to defeat than your opponent did.

During the hour-long break before the finals, Jess, Eric, Simeon, and Jarrett strolled through the market, with Simeon steadily feeding Jess advice. When they arrived back at the competition courts for the match, she thought herself as prepared as ever. She stretched and warmed up, blocking out the comments and jeers all around her. It seemed no one, save her friends, thought she could win the match.

They met at the center of the court, and crossed blades. When the judge said go, Velven reacted as taught, at jumped back, keeping his blade in a guard position. Jess, deciding to try and surprise him, lunged forward, moving with him. The jab that she launched was completely unexpected, but Velven was fast enough to recover and block the blow, countering rapidly. Ready for this, she step back, parrying his attacks.

He was fast,Jess admitted to herself, but she was determined not to lose confidence. The match dragged on, neither fighter getting the upper hand. They were both exhausted, and there attacks and parries, were coming at a very slow speed. Jess was aware that this favoured her opponent, since he was bigger and stronger. So she worked around that, jumping in and out to attack, hoping to wear him down. He had to make a mistake, everyone did. And she hoped that she would not make one first.

They were into the 25th minute of the match by the time that mistake was made. Jess made it. Luckily for her, it was minor. Attempting to press his advantage, he rushed forward, swinging his sword as hard as he could. When she blocked the strike, the force knocked her right onto her back.

He stepped over her to try and push his blade past her defences and make her give. But she was ready this time. She rolled sideways, and came to her feat with her blade resting against his stomach. He was shocked.

"Do you give?" she asked. When he didn't reply, she pushed the flat of her sword harder into his midsection.

"I give," he muttered shamefully.

Not being able to resist a taunt, Jess replied, "Well, that was a good fight for me. As for you…" she tailed off, and walked away. She celebrated with her friends and brother for a few minutes, before walking across the square to the platform where the awards were to be handed out.

**Uncovered**

The awards for the competitions were being handed out by an important merchant from the town. Jess had met him before, with her father, and was worried that he might recognize her. Although her almond-brown eyes were not really distinctive, and her disguise covered everything but her face, she still fretted over it.

She needed not have worried. He handed her the prize with barely a glance. The item she had won was a beautiful dagger, from the Raven Armoury. There was also a black leather sheath, one that would hang on her belt.

She was just leaving the presentation platform when she saw something that scared her. Her brother, Kenan, was striding through the crowd, as the villagers parted to let him pass. He seemed to be observing the fair and greeting the residents of what would one day be his fief.

Jess ducked off the platform, and started to move away from him. She thought that she had escaped, but he must have caught a glimpse of her face as she turned her back on him. When he made his way towards her, Jess kept on walking, hoping that he would get sidetracked, and perhaps think that he was imagining things.

She quickly told Jarret to ride back to the castle, not wishing to get him into any trouble, and turned away from her friends, for the same reason. As she walked back to where she had tied her horse, he caught up to her. Knowing her ruse had been uncovered, she obeyed him without question when he told her to mount up and follow him back to the castle.

As soon as they left the village, away from the prying eyes and ears of others, he let her have it. "What in Mithros' name do you think you were doing! Pretending to be a commoner, and a boy at that! And if you think I'm mad, just wait until father hears about this!"

"Please," begged Jess, "you don't have to tell him."

"And let you go around disgracing yourself and your family? He'll put a stop to this!" With that said, he proceeded to give her the silent treatment the rest of the way to the castle, her pleas to not tell her parent falling on deaf ears.

When they arrived at the castle, they passed their mounts to the servants. Not even letting her change out of her dirty clothes, he marched her right to her father's study, where her parents and older siblings had gathered.

She stood there in silence, bracing herself for the ensuing rant, as Kenan described what had happened to her parents, telling them that she had entered into the tournament at the fair, neglecting to mention that she had won.

When his son finished speaking, Lord Eamon picked up the slack. "I can't believe that you would choose to disregard your honour and the honour of our family. I'm going to do what I should have done three years ago. You leave for the convent on Monday, no ifs ands or buts! You are to stay in your room until then."

Not dignifying this with a reply, Jess spun around and left the room, slamming the door behind her. She was not going to the convent, that was for sure. Traditionally, in her family, girls attended the convent for two years, when they were 15 and 16. Being sent when she was only 13 was not fair! She would never go to the convent, never! Storming into the room, she thought about her options to avoid that sentence.


End file.
